I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
