OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
