I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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