i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
