He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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