Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
