then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
