woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
