We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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