if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
