Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
