i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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