That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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