Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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