Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
But we have bathrooms and they dont
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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