OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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