I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
