I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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