So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
