It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
