Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
