"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I had to cum in my sink.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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