That's when you crack a 10am beer
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize