You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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