went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
the liver wants what the liver wants
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
