took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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