You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
