dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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