Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
