are you so shy because you have an std?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
