yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
There's always time for handjobs
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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