How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
