Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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