I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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