I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
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how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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