so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
so much tequila, so little girl.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
