I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
