i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
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Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm at about main and main street
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
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I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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