She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
