My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
