Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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