yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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