Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
