dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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