That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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