i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
