maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
