Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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