Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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