Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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