oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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