This girl is more easily done than said...
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
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Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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