I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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