Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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