trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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