You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize