you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
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Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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