My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
