Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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