i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
