How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
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