I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
