He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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