Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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