I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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