I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize