yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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